oakley vault 5 Reasons San Francisco Is Sti

5 Reasons San Francisco Is Still the Worst Awesome City Ever

I used to live in San Francisco. Granted, it was only for three months, but that didn’t stop me from writing a column about the place like some kind of expert. The response from the natives (at least those who read far enough to understand that I wasn’t bashing their city) was fairly positive, which was comforting, but there’s been a question nagging at me ever since that column was published: Did I really spend enough time in San Francisco to confirm that all of my opinions were valid?

Don’t bother trying to change my mind about doughnut burgers, though. Still disgusting.

It’s hard to say for sure, but with this column, I’ve tried to take a few more steps toward confirming that everything I believed was true. First, there’s the column itself. Over a year has passed since I lived in San Francisco, and in that time, plenty of news stories have made the rounds that lead me to believe that I was, in fact, correct in my assessment of the city. Those are discussed in the text of this article.

What fun is there in me shouting out my opinions about San Francisco if I don’t let someone with a little more knowledge of the area tell me I’m wrong, though? To that end, I invited my friend and former San Francisco landlord Harmon Leon to join me on this week’s Unpopular Opinion podcast.

infiltrated Judge Joe Brown for a Cracked article once. Who better to tell me that everything I believe about the city is incorrect?

Speaking of new places, we recorded this episode in New York City. I was there for two weeks, and the fine folks at Stand Up NY Labs were kind enough to let me use their space to record my babbles. If you record a podcast in New York and you don’t do it there, you’re fucking up. Just look at the place!

I also brought along Alex Schmidt, who runs the Cracked Tumblr, among other things. He’s a funny guy. We did a standup show together while I was there and everything (thanks to my pals at the Stand for that)! In keeping with the theme of today’s article, we made the entire episode about living in different places, with one quick detour to talk about how goddamn awful Rolling Stone magazine has become.

They say your ability to honestly critique music is the first thing to go.

We kick things off in the podcast by talking about San Francisco, just like I do in this article. Give it a listen while you read!

Here are five reasons San Francisco is still the worst awesome city in America.

5. Regarding the FilthFilth was the first thing I brought up in my original column about San Francisco, mostly because it’s the first thing I bring up whenever I discuss San Francisco. Everything I’d ever seen of the city before I lived there made it look like the opening sequence of Full House and nothing more. To say that’s inaccurate probably qualifies as the textbook definition of an understatement.

Yes, the areas they show you on television and in movies look nice, but we’re talking about a city where the median rent for a one bedroom apartment is $2,800 per month. Those “nice areas” are outside the financial reach of most residents, leaving people to flee to less aesthetically pleasing neighborhoods, like the Mission District (where the median monthly rent is a mere $2,675). You’ll find a whole lot of homeless people in that neighborhood, probably because it looks like the neighborhood you move to as a last ditch effort to save enough money to stave off homelessness.

Also because it’s the only neighborhood in San Francisco that gets direct sunlight.

So, what’s the word on San Francisco filth since I left? Oh, not much it’s just killing people now. Well, that’s not exactly true. It’s more like efforts to clean up the filth are killing people. Since May of last year, three people have been hit and killed by garbage trucks in San Francisco.

Not just garbage trucks, but garbage trucks from oakley vault the same company. If that doesn’t seem like a lot, just take a moment to think about how many times in the past year you’ve shown up to work and heard that a co worker killed someone. It’s a rarity, at the very least.

Pictured: 26 on the list of the 100 worst ways to die.

Not if you work at Recology! They’re killing people all the time these days! Two people were struck and killed less than a month apart late last year. In May of that same year, a Recology truck hit a bicyclist who wasn’t wearing a helmet. Of course, most killers don’t start racking up human fatalities right out of the gate. Serial killers usually start with torturing animals. Murderous garbage trucks start with crushing the feet of little girls before moving on to bigger crimes.

So, in retrospect, I still think trash is a problem in San Francisco, just not as big of a problem as the people cleaning it up.

4. Regarding the Misguided Community SupportWhat the hell is it with this city and buses? When it’s time to let The Man know you’re not going to take it anymore, the go to method for the residents of San Francisco is always making sure people can’t get to work. So how convenient must it be that the new enemy of oakley vault choice in the Bay Area is a bus?

That’s what San Franciscans less than affectionately call a Google bus. What is its crime? Well, it’s a privately owned bus that takes people who live in San Francisco to their jobs in Silicon Valley (not just at Google, for the record) without the need oakley vault to drive their own cars or use public oakley vault transportation. I know, I’m pissed, too.

Of course, that also proves that “caring” and “understanding” are two completely different things. There have been about a million studies by now that say paper bags are actually worse for the environment, but that didn’t stop San Francisco from extending the ban to include more businesses twice since it was implemented. It’s not going to earn me a lot of fans among San Francisco’s professional protester set to say it, but I think they’re just as wrong about Google buses.

Here’s the thing: Most of these protests center on the idea that rental rates in the vicinity of the Google bus stops are increasing at a higher rate than in other areas of the city.

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